After writing the Father Wound blog I knew that the Mother Wound would soon appear. But it didn't appear in the way that I expected. I will say, I have worked on this one a fair bit so it perhaps wasn't the wound so much the showed but more the wound I see in the Mother. One so deeply engrained for generations that it would be hard to find the source. Perhaps there isn't one. Perhaps it's infinite.
I am going to tell this through storytelling. I have always loved telling a story, I bet if you asked some old friends they would describe me as the storyteller. Probably talking more out of invitation so it probably wasn't as pleasant for them as it was for me haha
I am currently in Italy. My 'old hood', my roots, my ancestral lineage for as long as you can probably map it out. Italians that really never left, well not until 2 generations ago. A time when they invited immigrants to foreign lands for what we know as migration but who knows the actual truth. I have a few conspiracies I have discussed while travelling with other travellers, but I will leave those for another blog.
So for 2 generations we have lived in Australia. It started with my grandparents (dads parents) migrating and then my other grandparents (mums parents) visiting for 5 years where mum met dad and here we are. Mums parents eventually going back and leaving mum (1 of 5 daughters) married to dad to start a whole new ancestral lineage with a slightly different DNA upgrade. I will write another blog on my ancestral lineage as it's a fun and yet interesting one.
So, here I am in Italy in mums town where she grew up. My grandparents, some aunties and some cousins still living here. The same town my great grandparents lived too. For many, this is never the reality. But in Italy, it is rare for them to migrate out. What my grandparents & mum did, was the beginning of the migration era. I believe they took one for the team to start to break the cycles and create a different life for our ancestors, one I am sure they will still be so very proud of. Taking risks and going against the norm. The brave warriors who once went to war now seek a DNA upgrade for the next generations. All as it's meant to be.
This town has such a charm. It doesn't change. I first came when I was 11 and the butcher is still the same, the 'bar' owner is still the same and now there are 2 mini-marts, there only used to be one. The only upgrade. They are still even driving the same cars, I am not making this up. A world very different to the one I grew up in but I had the pleasure of knowing both. I will be forever grateful with this perspective on life. I remember telling mum the second time I came here 'I am changing the way I live, they live so much better here on nothing'. That year opened my eyes, soon to be shut again by the western world pull. All as it's meant to be. I will write 'all as it's meant to be' a lot. The reason for this is, I strongly believe our pushes & pulls happens as they are meant to. They bring down a layer but we are human and we will continue forth on our journey as we are meant to. Most of the time looping back to the same thing that probably brought us to exactly where we are now just so we can see the loop and then step out of the loop.
This trip was much different than the rest though. I came here with a whole new perspective. A very different version of me has stepped into this timeline now. It has been 6 years and well let's just say the last 3 years alone has felt like a 22 year cycle (zero exaggeration). So I have come here with much more acceptance, compassion but bigger boundaries and awareness of my energetic capacity. Massive awareness of energetic capacity. Wowee it has been hectic over here. It was so funny when mum said you are sleeping in the room under the house. I was like 'thank God'. I literally have my own quarters to escape to as I haven't been around this many humans all at once for a very long time. Lucky for my toolbox. But I am learning a lot. I needed this. I needed to prepare for whatever is coming. I must say though, I have done a lot of my family heres Human Design and I am pleasantly surprised that I am surrounded by Projectors & Manifestors - non sacral beings, so siestas have been a wonderful integration here hehe.
But what I have really enjoyed witnessing is how I interpret the language. They don't really speak English here (my parents are here so I have some people to talk to) but I also don't speak Italian. We speak Sicilian here so it's slightly different but I am surprised at how much I understand this time round. I believe it has been a mix of energy reading and language but it can get exhausting. I am translating 24/7 some nights it gets too much I literally cannot understand a word. My quota is done. But it has been fun. I definitely am reading the energetic field as well as the language and I have never been able to do this as much as I have here. The other places I visit I have been lucky enough to get mostly English speaking locals.
Ok enough of my introduction - see I can tell stories forever.
The biggest thing that has come out of this trip is witnessing the Mother. Not just my mother but the others that are here. Mum has 4 sisters plus her mother here and then 3 of my female cousins are also mothers. There's lots of females and yet if the new aged sense of femininty visited this family they would say 'these are hyper-masculine women'.
This is far from my interpretations but this is what society would say. They work like men, they are tough like men, they are strong willed like men perhaps they even look a bit like men. But this is a judged perspective. A surface level judgement of how they are to you today. But we do not know their truth. We do not know how they learned, we do not know how their childhood was. We know nothing. So let me tell you what I know. What I have observed. Let me give you an insight into what you might not see behind the 'tough woman' who doesn't trust and that anybody could hurt her. Let me show you how protective a woman will be if she had to constantly protect herself from being who she wanted to be growing up. Let me educate you on why a woman feels the need to 'work hard' and yet still provide, be a mother, protector and sometimes the head of the family.
This is because this is the only way in which she knows how.
A generation that WILL NOT change. They will not shift. This shift is not for them. It is for us, the next generation. We are the DNA shifters again. But we couldn't have done it without our generation of 'tough, strong, hard working, sometimes very mean women'.
Now, I will tell you some stories from what I have witnessed and from what I have heard (in my interpretation).
The 3 eldest of the 5 sisters were sitting at the kitchen table telling stories. All I witnessed was deep belly laugh laughter, then what you would interpret as yelling, what I interpret as speaking passionately haha mixed with 'I will never forget that day' followed by 'I don't remember that one'. But what really caught my attention was a story they told about their aunty. A 3 year old little girl. Her mum went out into the farm to work and said 'wash the dishes'. Of course the little girl just played, she was 3. She didn't wash the dishes. When she returned she screamed and yelled at her calling her every name under the sun (harsh ones). A 3 year old. Now, let's think about today's society, do you think you would see 3 year old washing dishes or even being asked to? There is no way. The parents would more so think they would break the dishes, not wash them. Or even worse, hurt themselves. I wouldn't even know how a 3 year old would reach the sink. So this poor 3 year old took the punishment, hit and screamed at for not following her mothers commands. Here enters trauma. Followed by what I would say either turned into a tough facade or a scared facade. You never know which way. This generation didn't have a hotline to call, they weren't even allowed to cry or they would get hit even more. Now imagine this woman and the way she grew up and then passing this onto her daughters and so on until someone decided to make the shift. Change the DNA. I asked my mum how her aunty turned out, her response 'She was really mean, a b*tch and she hated her mother' - a perfect example of the generational trauma seeping its way down.
Here is another story which involves my mum and her eldest sister. After Alfia (eldest sister) said 'I was always the one who got the smack from the parents' my mum followed by 'that's because you were the Babu (silly/stupid)'. Then she told the story about how 'smart' she was. Whenever her mum was angry, she knew what was coming so she would run away and hide at her grandmas house, sitting on a rock all day and when she returned she knew her mum was over it. Or by the sounds of it her sister got all the slack because of my mums 'whits'. Now I would interpret this as a protective mechanism - run in the sign of confrontation and return when the emotions have settled. Something I could safely say I inherited, and thus we see how patterning starts and then ends. Awareness is when it ends. See if I told my mum this is what you do to avoid emotional confrontation she would laugh and say, I was a child and I was smart. She wouldn't see how it plays a role in her adult life. But this is not what I came to do, I came too see, gain a perspective and go back to myself with a new layer and in-turn helping transform the lineage. Just as my mother did in many different ways and her mother & sisters as well. In their own ways.
Other things I have witnessed are what we would call 'hard heads' not letting things go, followed by 'you have been like this since a child' (a Projector who was never heard) and then the younger generation observing you as a more self-aware woman who has self-love and really doesn't care what others think of her. Making small little comments and feelings and thoughts start to creep in. How I know this? This is what I call the hermit test (just made that up haha). This involves energy exchange. If 95% of the time (when I am fully alone) I am pretty solid in myself and thoughts of self-doubt, self-consciousness don't arise. Still going out in public etc but those thoughts don't cross then you know you are pretty solid. Yes, you return every now and again to bring down another layer, but generally it's a good test to feel into your own energy. But when you are around someone long enough who might have these doubts, and you start to doubt, you know there's been a cross over of energy. This also happens more and more when you're open to energy exchange, working as a healer etc. I do have strong systems I put in place every morning and night but I must say even I let my guard down and often forget. But I am glad that I do because then I get to feel someone on a deeper level or come back to places that perhaps I need to look at again in myself. I trust that you will know when it is a mirror vs an energy exchange. Sometimes it can be both.
All of this aside, I want to say, in the past I would have been angry and not as understanding. This time round, I have been able to observe and really learn. Really understand on a much deeper level. I understand why I see the 'feminine' in the way that I do, I understand why these women act the way that they do and I can now see why I have been and sometimes still are, the way that I am.
So next time you see a tough woman who doesn't seem 'feminine' to you - ask her how her mother was. Ask her how she was brought up. Ask her what she believes Feminine is. Because I promise you, there is not one way to be Feminine. There is only your way and we need to stop telling people what they should see. Let them see for themselves and let them be as they are. That is true compassion and humility in this world of sharp shifting ancestral patterning.
I have said this before, I will say it again. Feminine & Masculine energy is highly misinterpreted in modern new age spirituality. A way to further misinterpret behaviours from both men & women. If you cannot see it, perhaps ask yourself a couple of questions. What does Feminine mean to you? and what does a Woman mean to you? See if there are any discrepancies. Then perhaps ask your mum what it means to her and then your grandma. This won't be for all women of course. But I bet for a lot of European women it might be.
I asked my mum what she thought a woman was and this was her response 'women can do anything, they are determined and very strong' and we have 'an extra rib than a man, that's why we can do 3 things at once'. That's how she sees women, just as she is. I then asked what do you see a feminine women or to be feminine as, her response 'Very gentle, very pretty, sophisticated & brave' I then said, do you think your feminine? 'Of course I am'. I could see the emotions in her eyes welting as she tried to understood what I am doing and why I am asking these questions. But she knows. Maybe not at a surface level, but at a core mother level, she knows and trusts that I am here making the changes because she can feel it. Perhaps she can't conceptualise it, but she can feel it.
Now I know why I see myself and women as the same. I see the feminine as the same and often put myself down if I am not living up to the standard of what the 'feminine' is. For me I see the feminine as water & earth not as an object to desire to. A women on the other hand, the container, whatever that container holds, is entirely up to you. For we are here to crack open and allow the penetrative force to come in. Work together like yin & yang, like dark & light, like the moon & the sun. We are never meant to be the same, not one better than the other, not one more superior than the other. If you must, let the winner / loser game play out in the Earth experience, not in the spirit & soul of the human.
I will lastly say, I stand by that women can do anything and we are very determined and strong - a womanly trait I will never take away from myself or any other woman on this planet. That doesn't mean we need to extinguish the woman's role in society, there are many things that have changed for the worse, but we need to not shut down that as much as you think being strong is a manly trait - let me assure you, strength is not determined by just physicality. For men - if your world was to go into havoc, you would want a strong woman by your side, trust me. For women - don't let your frame determine your strength, it comes from within.
I hope this piece can educate even 1 person before they put judgement on other women for being the way that they are. And for the women, this goes for all of us. If you don't know their past, you don't know anything about who they are, how can you judge another woman who at a DNA level is very much just like you?