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Stepping out of the real Matrix and back into your most authentic self

Updated: Jan 12

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I have been on an awakening journey for as long as I can remember. I guess it really starts at birth and everything works it's way up from there. Isn't it a funny thing to think we live some of our adult life untangling the parts of our childhood? Isn't it interesting how much of an impact our childhood has on our adult life? If you would have told me that as a child, I wouldn't have listened. I wouldn't have understood. It's almost as if it all happens exactly as it's meant to, right?

The darkest parts of us, the lightest parts of us, they are all a part of us. All perfectly balanced, just the way it is meant to be.

Well that's what you soon learn when you start to awake from your matrix. No, not that Gov version we hear so much about, I am referring to your mind matrix. That's what I believe is the real matrix here. All the beliefs, conditioning, trauma. Everything stored in the subconscious. Somewhere you don't think to access. Because it's unconscious right?

Well I believe this to not be true. I believe and have experienced for myself, the untangling of the subconscious mind. A very powerful way of shifting things in your conscious that you are sick of looping in. Though we are meant to loop a few times in order to realise we don't want to loop anymore, I don't believe we need to be looping forever. Well I don't want to be anyway. 

This is where I decided I wanted to come back to me. My purest essence. Back to my true authentic self, back to love. Back to remembering who I am in the purest form without all the programming. Who am I?

The first thing that started accessing my subconscious was meditation. Wowee what a tool. Now it is pretty common to meditate but when I started, it wasn't so common. I am so glad it made it to mainstream to be honest. It's such a powerful tool. A tool that allows you to still the mind. Bring down the chatter. Relax deeper into yourself. Why wouldn't you want to do that? Doesn't that sound like heaven? Well it is, once you master it. Until then, it's not so heavenly. It was one of the hardest things I did. The first time I yelled and screamed and said 'This is not for me'. I was so frustrated. Why can't I sit in silence I thought? That was until I mastered observing that thought. I looked at it from an outside perspective instead of looping it in my brain over and over again until I got angry. I observed the question - yes, why? Then kept asking more questions and observing the answers rather than trying to find them with my mind. That's when I hacked mediation. From 30 seconds to now 1 or 2 hours without flinching. Not every day. Somedays I still go to the frustrated place. But they are few and far between now.

But meditation wasn't my awakening, it was a tool that got me there. These tools were all fundamental for my journey. Every single one of them. Whether I tried one and hated it, it still taught me something about myself. Along with all my relationships, encounters, ups and downs, all of it was fundamental for my growth.

It takes time to realise this and it is not an easy road to take. Sometimes I wanted to give up, sometimes I wanted to hide in my room and never come out. Then sometimes I wanted to run around the streets telling everybody what I had found, what I knew, what I saw. But I knew that it wasn't my time to tell just yet. I knew one day that it would be. 

I have banks of stored data from what feels like lifetimes of experiences but in reality I have only been on this planet for 36 years. I do believe that age doesn't define our knowledge. Sometimes we have data banks from other lifetimes, sometimes we listen twice as fast as others might. I really want to reiterate that age doesn't define knowledge in this Age of Aquarius time. We will soon realise that we all came here with access to the banks and we can tap into the collective knowledge whenever we want. This could be through a book, a course, an experience, listening to a story, meditation or simply channeling the information from a source. This is the new age source of knowledge. I am not saying this is true for everyone, but this is what I believe to be true. This is my knowledge bank. The years I spent at University could never give me the knowledge that a 10 minute meditation gives me. This is reality for me now. This is my knowledge. This is my wisdom. This is what I bring to my reality now. 

If you have ever heard of Human Design a man named Ra channeled the information and brought it to life. This is the information you see, a channeled source of information that he streamed through his body.

This kind of information downloading is what feels true for me.

This is what I always say to people: 'always go with what feels true for you'. For me, my body instantly lights up. I get goosebumps, I get emotional, I often cry. When I read / hear / say something that feels so close to me, it gives me a physical reaction. That's when I know. So this might not be true for you either, but if it wasn't, you probably would have stopped reading by now.

Have you ever said something to somebody and then gone.. 'I have no idea where that came from?' or vice versa somebody said that after giving you a piece of information? This to me is subconscious or unconscious channelling. How I see the two differently is that subconscious is information already stored in the subconscious - could be something you heard or read somewhere, something you learnt or was programmed in you. I see unconscious channeling as messages coming through from your higher self. Coming through away from your conscious being that is standing there in front of that person. Some people call this a download. Whatever language you have, that's yours to choose. This is how I visualise the process. It is still all a part of you, you are just accessing it from a different place. Kind of like channels on a TV, you are just finding the right one to watch the show you want to.

Now that we know we can access this when we don't even want to, then what makes us believe we cannot access this when we want to?

This is when I was introduced to reprogramming. There are different ways to do this, so many different ways. This can be done through healing, therapies, body movement. Anything that is going to cause shifts in you is reprogramming. I once associated things like NLP or psychology to reprogramming but now I see everything as reprogramming. I could get a reiki session and be reprogrammed or I could do a meditation and be reprogrammed. 

Reprogramming is when we take an existing program in our psyche and change the pathway. Sounds easy right? Why don't we all just jump in and change stuff?

It's not that easy. You have to be ready. You have to realise you want to shift something. You have to be ready to look. This is a long path, but you will know when you are ready. It will come along your path no matter what. It will not pass you by. I like to say 'It will not click, until it clicks'. 

If you are still reading this... you chose this path, you are already on it. Welcome.

I have a few favourite reprogramming modalities. One is definitely NLP (this is what I mainly tap into when I do my 1:1 healing sessions on others). But I don't believe they have to be singular. They can be all mixed into one. They can be anything. They can be as simple as having a hard conversation with a loved one and something you never thought of just clicks. Like a puzzle piece slips into place. 

But my favourite ones are the out of the world crazy ones. The ones that make zero sense but create the biggest ripple effects. This looks different to everyone, but I came to earth for a wild fun ride so I enjoy choosing the fun ones. The ones that take us out of this realm for a moment and bring us back to Earth with more knowledge and wisdom and data than you ever thought possible. 

Here is one I had today, one that sparked this blog. One that sparked this conversation. One that shifted something in me that only I could see.

An Oracle session from my main gal, Molly Jane. 

I am going to explain this from my perspective, my lens and my experience. Everyone will experience this differently, not to mention her sessions are never two of the same.

So strap in, enjoy the ride.

My 1:1 Oracle Session

We go straight into it. Tapped in, ready to go. What I like to do to prepare for any session is to burn some sage or palo santo, get in comfortable clothing and be in a quiet, safe space. Usually in a robe on my bed. We don't know if we are sitting or laying, it could go either way.

We start off with big deep breaths, allowing my nervous system to feel as relaxed as possible. At this point I can feel the nerves relaxing, my body soothing and the energy getting bigger. From there she takes me through an exercise to feel into different parts of my body. We are very relaxed at this point and ready to go in. She calls in my guides / team / anybody here for my highest good and then calls in her team for assistance. 

Then off she goes, doing her thing. Most of it is out loud, talking through what she is doing. From removing 'gunk' in places they shouldn't be, right through to light language that your body needs. As I said, every session would be different but these are some of the things that happened in mine. I mostly sit and listen because the process fascinates me so much but she will ask questions and get your feedback at times. This makes me feel like i'm really all a part of the process. She will also talk in a language that you understand. At one point she said to me 'I never speak like this in my sessions' this is when she was talking numbers and percentages and my logical brain was eating it up the data for breakfast. This is because the session is for YOU. It is YOU. So everything is happening on an energetic level that only you can understand.

This is when the reprogramming kicked in. We spoke about a channeled source of mine and why I was afraid to access it. We went back in time to look at what happened and why it was a fear. I was able to understand more clearly what had happened, though I could be asleep and the work would still be happening in the background. This is all unconscious work, let's remember that. I could be asleep and she would still be working through the programs. As long as I have given her permission to access it. 

The real fun part came when Molly was able to put language on what my spiritual body now looked like and let's just say my 'auric' field, but it wasn't that, it was something else. But that will best explain it. What this enabled me to do is to feel much more safe on my path. I was able to get validation and understanding on what I was doing at this point in time. Sometimes our mind can get so heavy from thoughts - mine literally was because she had to clear them and reset them - that we can't see what is right in front of us. Molly described this as a forest of thoughts that I just kept piling in and unless we cleared the forest, I would just keep stacking them in. This felt so true to me that I had goosebumps all over.

The truth is, sometimes we have blind spots and we need people to come in and find them, whatever way that is. This is Molly's way and I am here for it. 

What I love about this session is how wild it is. This is what brings me back to me. This is what brings me back to that feeling of home within myself. It feels so real to me. It is a way I can understand and unconsciously unravel things I didn't even know were there. But do it in a way that feels not only safe, but it feels like home. That's the best way I can describe it. It feels like I am receiving a warm hug from my universe saying 'good job, thanks for being here and doing this work'.

I loved when she reminded me of a soul contract and how it played out exactly how it was meant to. Just simple little moments, reminding us that we are on the right path and we don't have to do anything, but just be. These are my favourite parts of healings. We often forget and get caught up in the day-to-day of life and it's so nice to be reminded that you are doing the best that you can in this moment. Thank you for that reminder today, Molly. 

Throughout the process she was giving me tools that I can do in my day-to-day to help me move further on my path. This is your reminder to bring a pen and paper to any sessions. I wouldn't record the session as I believe it disrupts it but I would ask before any session if I can record. 

At the end I was able to ask any question that I wanted. I had a few and I got clarity on a lot of things. I don't like to ask too many questions as I like to watch it all unfold without me interfering but if something calls to me, I will ask. She helped clarify a lot of things around work and then referring back to parts of the session, which shows how integrated all of it was from start to finish.

The funniest part of it all was when she said 'what's with the slippers, you need to take them off'. I laughed and told her how my cleaners today literally gave me these new slippers (slides) and I started wearing them, they were right next to my bed. Safe to say, I threw them out! 

Then we finish with a giggle and a WOW. Then debrief on anything else that came up.

For me I felt energised and ready for the upgrade. It isn't always like that. Sometimes I can feel tired, emotional, angry, sad. Anything can happen really. But this one I felt energised afterwards. It was as if I was thrown onto a moving timeline that was already playing out, ready for me to join. 

I want to remind you that these sessions are YOU. We as healers are speaking through you, with you. They are not possible without you being ready and willing to do the work.

This journey of awakening for me is bringing me back home time and time again. I am home, it is me. It is bringing me back to me in my purest form of love, back to me. It is remembering who I am, who we are.

No matter what we do, we cannot control the outside noise, but we can control how much we absorb and how much we move within us. We have a choice. Don't ever let anybody or anything outside of yourself tell you that you don't have a choice and this is 'just how it always will be forever'. Yes, we can love and accept all parts of ourselves, light & dark, in-fact that is the key here. But it doesn't mean we can't shift things to break the loops and patterns that might be holding us back from living our versions of our most abundant lives! Follow those intuitive pulls, follow those full body YES's, follow those instant NO's, follow the waves of your emotions, follow your own inner voice, follow your own outer voice. Do whatever lights YOU up, what feels good for you. Society doesn't get to choose for you, you get to choose for you.

One last thing. Life is always going to happen, there will always be ups and downs. This is a part of the journey. Without dark we cannot see the light. So don't be hard on yourself when you can't move through something as quickly as you want to. Sometimes I sit in depression for 3 days, sometimes 10. No amount of mediation is going to make me move through in a way it wasn’t intended. Sitting in it is where the work is done. We never know where we are supposed to be taken to see. A reminder to enjoy all parts of it, the ups and the downs, the lefts and the rights.

I don't know why I want to end on Namaste, but here we are!

Namaste Humanoids x

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